Dancing with the Stars 3/26 - Where are the Cheeseballs?

Yep, it's time to check back in at Dancing with the Stars, where week 2 proved that the base level of talent is higher this year than it has been in any of the past seasons. There hasn't been a Mario or Drew Lachey level performance yet, but there is still plenty of time for Joey, Ian, Laila, or Apolo to really break out. Even Billy Ray Cyrus, definitively the weakest dancer of the bunch, could easily outperform last year's first eliminee Tucker Carlson, or even top 5 finisher Jerry Springer.

I hate Samantha Harris. She is so wooden and fake. Just had to put that out there.

Here's some thoughts on the performers:

-Wow, Apolo Anton Ono really is the surprise of the season, and a very aesthetically pleasing surprise at that! That quickstep was impressive!

-I literally could not care less about Shandi-Barbie-Beauty Queen and her smily partner. Get them out of here. Sometimes the unknown contestants end up being very entertaining, like Stacy Kiebler, who is the audience tonight. I just can't see that happening with Shandi.

-Unfortunately for Clyde Drexler, he is following in the footsteps of fellow athlete Emmett Smith, who was charming, lovable, and had a natural dancing talent. Clyde seems like a great guy, but he doesn't quite have Emmett's glow, nor his finesse around the dance floor. He certainly didn't embarrass himself, but I can't imagine he'll be following Smith and Jerry Rice into the finals.

-Happy birthday, Leeza Gibbons. Buy yourself a new set of cheekbones, didja? Good for you, you treat yourself on your birthday. Her performance is so watching-your-mom-shake-her-butt creepy that I almost have to avert my eyes. She totally got those 7's because she's turning 60. I mean, 50.

-First of all, when was Ian Ziering on Broadway? Just curious. I think at this point Cheryl Burke is as famous if not more so than Ian Ziering. There was a cover story on her today in the USA Today! As it turns out, I quite enjoyed their performance -- the choreography was great (as always), and it had a real spark to it. Good job Steve Sanders!

-Who knew Paulina Porizkova was so funny? I mean, she made me laugh out loud! It was stiff and a bit awkward, but I like her much more than Leeza Gibbons, so I hope she hangs around a little while.

-Billy Ray Cyrus is totally milking the fact that his daughter is the biggest thing in the tween set since High School Musical, but ya know what -- he's charming and his performance ain't half bad. Don't get me wrong, he's no Mario Lopez (and don't think Karina isn't thinking that as well), but he doesn't suck. Go Billy Ray.

-She's only got one leg, and she was good! Shockingly, Heather Mills was the second best female of the night. Is it possible she could transcend freak-show status in this competition and actually become a real contender? Should be fun to see.

-John Ratzenberger would love to inherit the John O'Hurley/George Hamilton spot, and he could possibly do it -- he's even got George's old partner, Edyta. He's pretty charming, and he's actually a stronger dancer than several of his competitors. Not bad, Cliff Clavin.

-Laila Ali has the deepest female voice I have ever heard. But once again, she is alllll woman on the dance floor -- and she is phenomenal! This was easily the best performance of the night, and I would say at this point Laila is the one to beat.

-I still think it's unfair Joey Fatone is in this competition, but what do ya know, I'm charmed by him once again. Sure he's a bit cheesy, but the joy he seems to be having is totally infectious, and he can really move. Plus, his Broadway experience seems to be really paying off, as he is selling what he's dancing. Nice work, Fat-One.


So there it is, my thoughts on Week 2 of Dancing with the Stars. I'm guessing Leeza's birthday will spare her another week, while Ken and Barbie are going to get sent back to the dollhouse. See ya later Shandi? We'll see tomorrow night...