Dancing with the Stars Thoughts: Predicting the Order They Will Fall

This, of course, is a totally fruitless exercise, since I've never seen these people dance before (or, for that matter, even heard of some of them), but why not handicap the Dancing with the Stars field, now that the pairings of celebrities and professional partners have been officially announced? C'mon, it'll be fun!

NB: My undying love for Chelsie Hightower may impact where I place her on this list. I can't help it -- I'm human. I love her.

I'm gonna put them in order of first eliminated to winner. Here goes!

16. Kathy Ireland and Tony Dovolani
The model always goes first. Think Paulina Porizkova.

15. Joanna Krupa and Derek Hough
When there's two models in the group, the one who doesn't have Derek Hough as her partner is out the door right in front of the one who does. Sorry Joanna!

14. Ashley Hamilton and Edyta Sliwinksa
Poor Edyta -- always the tan, tan also-ran.

13. Tom DeLay and Cheryl Burke
The novelty is bound to wear off by Week 4, right? Not this time Cheryl.

12. Chuck Liddell and Anna Trebunskaya
I'm thinking the cross-over of WWE and Dancing with the Stars fans is probably pretty slight. We'll see...

11. Kelly Osbourne and Louis Van Amstel
Sharon Osbourne might have a chance at winning. Kelly? Not so much.

10. Natalie Coughlin and Alec Mazo
The Dancing folks do love their Olympians (Apolo Anton Ono, Shawn Johnson), but since his victory in Season 1 Alec has been a bit of a bad-luck charm. We'll see if Natalie can change that.

9. Macy Gray and Jonathan Roberts
Jonathan is booooo-ooo-ring, but Macy should bring enough squeaky-voiced drama for the two of them.

8. Michael Irvin and Anna Demidova
The footballer-s usually last awhile, but without a partner with a built-in fanbase, a midseason exit sounds about right.

7. Louie Vito and Chelsie Hightower
I've already acknowledged I have no objectivity when it comes to Chelsie. Love does that to you.

6. Aaron Carter and Karina Smirnoff
These two could be the best dancers in the bunch, and might bring some real heat to the floor.

5. Debi Mazar and Maksim Chmerkoviskiy
I can't wait for the behind-the-scenes screaming matches between these two! It'll probably be more dramatic than anything that happens on the dance floor!

4. Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas
Two-time champ Mark doesn't have a shot at title #3 with Clarissa, but at least he'll have it all explained!

3. Mark Dacasos and Lacey Schwimmer
Lacey deserves a good showing after putting up with Steve-O this year, but a third place finish is probably the best she can hope for.

RUNNER-UP: Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson
I just couldn't award Donny the win -- he wants it too bad. Still, long-suffering Kym definitely deserves a chance to hoist the trophy over her head.

WINNER: Mya and Dmitry Chaplin
Dmitry gets paid back for putting up with Holly Madison last season, and Mya gets the hottest pro on the show. Sounds like a win-win for the win to me!

Thoughts?

Are the DANCING WITH THE STARS Professionals Now More Famous Than Their "Celebrity" Partners?

A thought occurred to me over the past two weeks of watching Dancing with the Stars, as I found myself nervous that new pro Chelsie Hightower would be eliminated the first week out, and feeling for Lacey Schwimmer as she stood alone receiving comments without her partner Steve-O -- are the professional dancers on the show now more famous than their "celebrity" partners?

Think about it --

-Three of the pros (Chelsie, Lacey, and Dimitri Chapin) amassed sizable fanbases on So You Think You Can Dance (a show that gets a lot more viewers than Holly Madison' Girls Next Door).
-Edyta Sliwinska has been on eight cycles of the show
-Cheryl Burke has won twice and is a tabloid fixture
-Julianne Hough has a country CD and has been nominated for several awards
-Former champs Derek Hough and Mark Ballas have a new CD in stores
-Maksim Chmerkowskiy and Karinna Smirnoff are engaged, and constantly in the press

Now, this is not to say that some of this year's "stars" are, in fact, accomplished -- no one can take away Shawn Johnston's gold medal or Lil' Kim's notoriety or Laurence Taylor's football records. But in the Dancing with the Stars universe, there is no doubt that some of the pros have eclipsed their partners in terms of viewer affection.

Which begs the question -- is the playing field now stacked in favor of the pros who have their own fanbases? Lacey, Chelsie and Dimitri have fans who are used to voting for them -- does this, as a result, help Steve-O, Ty and Bridget? Will Julianne and Chuck last in the competition because of the audience's affection for Julianne? Will Denise Richards hang around because viewers can't get enough of Maks?

And does it even matter?

Let me know what you think in the comments section below.

Julianne Hough Rushed to the Hospital Following DANCING WITH THE STARS

TMZ is reporting that Julianne Hough was rushed to the hospital following tonight's Dancing with the Stars results show. She is said to have been suffering from severe stomach pains. Apparently she was complaining of discomfort all day, but after her encore performance with Cody Linley it became "unbearable."

Julianne is only the latest Dancing competitor to make a trip to the hospital. Misty May Treanor had to drop out of the competition after tearing her ACL, Derek Hough passed out after falling in rehearsal, and Jeffrey Ross scratched his cornea during the first week of competition. Susan Lucci and Toni Braxton have also experienced injuries.

Let's hope Julianne (who I absolutely adore) does not have appendicities, which would likely sideline her from the competition.

More to come...

READ: Are the DANCING WITH THE STARS Producers Losing Their Way?

READ: Lance Bass' DANCING WITH THE STARS Problem: Lacey Schwimmer Is Sabotaging His Chances!

BOLD PREDICTION: Warren Sapp and Kim Johnson Will Win DANCING WITH THE STARS

PHOTO: Dancing with the Candidates: Barack Obama and Sarah Palin Cha Cha Cha

Have the DANCING WITH THE STARS Producers Lost Their Way?

I love Dancing with the Stars -- I simply can't get enough of the cheesy joys B (or C or D)-List celebrities ballroom dancing brings to me. I've falled in love with Apolo Anton Ono and Mel B and Helio Castroneves. And after all these years, I have deep affection for Julianne and Derek Hough, Tony Dobolani, and even Cheryl Burke.

But, as we bid adieu to Toni Braxton at the midway point of the season, something is leading me to believe the producers of the show are starting to lose their way. It's not the contestants -- they are as entertaining as ever. The shift that is happening is subtle now, but if it continues heading in this direction, I will start to doubt the potential longevity of the show.

Let me explain...

First of all, this season the show seems to want to think it is So You Think You Can Dance. Don't get me wrong -- So You Think You Can Dance is probably my very favorite reality show. However, Dancing with the Stars is no SYTYCD, and shouldn't try to be. It's got it's own charms. But this year alone we have former finalist Lacey Schwimmer as a professional (not really fair, when you think about it, since she's recently been on a reality show that required people to vote for her -- as famous, say, as Kim Khardashian or Cody Linley. We've also had Anya and Pasha choreograph a routine, and former SYTYCD choreographers Dave Scott and Brian Friedman appearing in a taped segment.

And now comes word that next week the contestants will be asked to do a group old school hip-hop routine. Huh? This is absurd -- the show is about ballroom dancing. What's next -- a contemporary routine choreographed by Mia Michaels? (Though that doesn't really sound that bad...)

Reading this back I can see that I sound like an old codger, but I like my Dancing with the Stars pure -- sue me. A bit of edginess is surely welcome, but embracing hip-hop just seems antithetical to the point of the show (not to mention of having ballroom professionals as dance partners and judges).

Speaking of judges -- Michael Flatley to replace Len Goodman for a week? Um...would America stand for Tommy Mottola sitting in for Simon Cowell? I don't think so! And why have Michael Flatley on a week where they are doing hip-hop? Why not get Jamie King, or if they are really going to dig into the SYTYCD bag, Wade Robson?

Which brings me to my last point -- tonight's "biggest performance ever"!. I mean...my high school did that same production number. Yawn! Cliche! And after all that build-up? Of course, only 5 minutes was dedicated to actual results -- a regular occurrence on these results show. (Don't even get me started for when my Tivo cuts it off before the results have been announced.)

I'm a little angry -- I'll admit it. But take this post as a message to the producers, with love from a fan. Do me right.

READ: BOLD PREDICTION: Warren Sapp and Kim Johnson Will Win Dancing with the Stars

READ: Lance Bass' Dancing with the Stars Problem: Lacey Schwimmer Is Sabotaging His Chances!

Photo: Dancing with the Candidates: Barack Obama and Sarah Palin Cha Cha Cha

Dancing with the Candidates: Barack Obama and Sarah Palin Cha Cha Cha

Thanks to my pal Kathy for sending this picture of Barack Obama and Sarah Palin doing the cha cha to me -- it made laugh out loud!

Lance Bass's DANCING WITH THE STARS PROBLEM: Lacey Is Sabotaging His Chances!

When it was first announced that So You Think You Can Dance finalist Lacey Schwimmer would be partnering Lance Bass on this season of Dancing with the Stars, I couldn't have been more excited. I loved Lacey on SYTYCD, and I've (embarrassingly) been an 'nsync fan since back in the day, so this partnership seemed like heaven to me.

But -- there's a problem. And the problem is not Lance, who has been charmingly low-key, and displayed considerable talent, since the show began.

No, the problem is Lacey -- namely, that she thinks she is the star.

In some ways I can't blame her -- she's a world-class swing dancing champion, and her final four appearance on SYTYCD gave her plenty of opportunities to hone her "look at me!" skills. That's always been her thing -- SYTYCD fans will remember that when she danced with Kameron, he totally faded into the background, while she hogged the spotlight.

The trouble is that she hasn't been able to switch gears, and highlight her partner instead of herself. All of her choreography seems only minimally focused on showcasing Lance, and primarily focused on showcasing Lacey. That's not the way the show works.

Watch, for example, Julianne Hough and Cheryl Burke, two very talented dancers who simultaneously manage to look great themselves, while also putting their partners front and center. This is a skill that Lacey has yet to acquire.

You might think being scolded by the judges in front of 20 million people might be enough to humble her, but throughout the rest of last night's performance show she aped and mugged (particularly when Cloris Leachman was being interviewed by the unbearable Samantha Harris). Someone has got to get it through to Lacey -- this show is not about her!

If she doesn't get the message, she could find herself booted very soon. And that would be a damn shame.

BOLD PREDICTION: Warren Sapp and Kim Johnson Will Win DANCING WITH THE STARS

The headline pretty much says it all...I am boldly going on record as saying I think Warren Sapp and Kim Johnson will win Dancing with the Stars.

What, you say? He wasn't even in tonight's Top 3, and Brooke Burke has this competition all wrapped up?

A fair point. To this I'll argue, we're only halfway through -- and Warren's got charm to last another 6 months on this show, if necessary. On top of that, he's consistent -- aside from a slight misstep last week, he's performed strong week after week. And consider this -- the show's last four winners were athletes (Kristi Yamaguchi, Helio Castroneves, Apolo Anton Ono and Emmitt Smith). It's easy to imagine Warren in that company.

As for the Brooke Burke factor, the sheen is bound to wear off of her admittedly beautiful facade. Beyond that, though, pretty girls rarely do well in this competition, even when they are good dancers. Consider Stacey Kiebler (who was coincidentally in the audience tonight), who was probably Season 2's best dancer. She came in 3rd.

See, when it comes down to it, America wants to reward the most likable candidate. Sure, it helps if they can dance, and sometimes it even wins them the competition (a la Yamaguchi). But this season, I'm thinking lovable teddy bear Warren will come out on top.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know.

Read my last BOLD PREDICTION: Zac Efron Will Be Nominated for a Golden Globe Award for High School Musical 3

Misty Mae and Maks Out of DANCING WITH THE STARS; Derek Hough Rushed to the Hospital

Drama at Dancing with the Stars!

Misty May Traenor injured her ankle (some reports have it broken, others just badly bruised) that has caused her and partner Maksim out of the competition. Maks, we'll miss you!

Rumor has it that Kim Khardashian (nooooooooo!) will return to the show to take Misty May's place.

Meanwhile, Access Hollywood is reporting that Derek Hough suffered a fall over the weekend and briefly blacked out, requiring him to be rushed to the emergency room. According to a spokesperson for the show, he was released from the hospital and will be fine for tonight's show.

What do you think of all these developments? And how are all the young bucks getting injured while Cloris Leachman flies through??

Is DANCING WITH THE STARS' Cheryl Burke Pregnant...Or Just Fat?

I was watching Dancing with the Stars with a friend last night, and he asked me, "Who is that fat girl in the corner?" My answer -- "Two-time champion Cheryl Burke."

Ouch.

Cheryl, who along with fellow pro Edyta basically invented the barely-there Dancing costume, has been conspicuously covered up this season (her dress in last night's rumba had more fabric than five of her dresses last season combined!). Additionally, she has definitely been displaying a little more poundage, both in the body and the face. Here are my theories as to her weight gain:

1. She's pregnant. Seems slighly implausible, as dancing the way she does couldn't possibly be good for a fetus, but hey, anything is possible.

2. Five seasons without a trip to the finals is taking it's toll, and she's fighting with fellow pro Lacey Schwimmer (read post ARE CHERYL BURKE AND JULIANNE HOUGH SNUBBING LACEY SCHWIMMER?). The result? She's "eating her feelings."

Anyone else got a plausible explanation? Sound off below.

DANCING WITH THE STARS Elimination Prediction: Kim Khardashian and Rocco Dispirito Are In Trouble

Read: IS CHERYL BURKE PREGNANT...OR JUST FAT?

Another week of Dancing with the Stars, another elimination prediction.

Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson stole the show for me last night with their totally entertaining Matrix inspired routine -- he is so unbelievably charming, I find it hard to believe he won't cruise into at least the Final Four. (And if he does start to sink he can use Kym's enormous breasts as a flotation device!) Though Len Goodman clearly has something against Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer, I found their performance energetic and exciting, so I'm guessing they won't face any trouble either. Ditto Cloris Leachman, who likely has a couple weeks left in her. Meanwhile Derek Hough and Brooke Burke, as well as Toni Braxton and Alec Mazo, probably earned high enough scores from the judges to keep them out of the danger zone.

Maks and Misty Mae are fan-favorites, as are Julianne Hough and Cody Linley, so they, too, should be spared the wrath of the red light.

That leaves Rocco Dispirito and Karinna Smirnoff, Kim Khardashian and Mark Ballas, Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani, and Cheryl Burke and Maurice Green , all of whom could get the boot tonight. My money is on Kim and Mark -- the judges clearly hate the vacant reality star, and I have a feeling the viewers share that sentiment. If somehow the big-booty wonder is spared, expect Rocco to be sent packin -- he may make a mean meatball, but his rumba was downright embarrassing!

Who do you think will go home tonight? Sound off below!

Read: IS CHERYL BURKE PREGNANT...OR JUST FAT?

Dancing with the Stars First Week Impressions: I Love Lance and Lacey!

The first two performance episodes of the new (and eagerly anticipated) season of Dancing with the Stars are now over and we've already lost one "celebrity" (see ya later Jeffrey Ross), which means it's just about time for me to give my impressions on the remaining dozen (one of whom will go home tonight).

Before I do that, however, I have to reiterate a theme that has recurred throughout the years I've been writing about this show..

I hate Samantha Harris!

Ok, I feel better now that I've gotten that out.

On to the contestants:

-Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer
Hands down my favorite couple of the season, though at this point it has very little to do with their dancing. I was a huge Lacey fan back on So You Think You Can Dance, where she came in 4th place, and Lance was both in 'nysnc and is the first openly gay contestant on the show. How can I not root for them? I'm a bit concerned for their longevity in the competition, however -- as much as I love Lacey, I'm not sure she's in tune with what the judges are looking for in these dances, and it could come back to bite them in the butt. Still -- for now, they've got my vote.

-Toni Braxton and Alec Mazo
Toni's sporting a crazy-eye thing that is buggin' me out a bit, but so far her moves have been pretty impressive. However -- does she have the stamina to keep up?

-Kim Khardashian and Mark Ballas
Aside from her, um, assets, I'm not quite sure what Kim is bringing to the dance floor -- except a hot partner! Unfortunately for Mark, however, I don't expect this couple to go much further than tonight.

-Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas
I know, I know, she's charming and hysterical -- but I'm just not enjoying her shake her geriatric groove thing. Call me ageist, but I hope she gets shown the door right quick.

-Misty May Treanor and Maksim Chmerkovsky
Maks compared Misty's legs to Stacey Kiebler, which I think is giving the volleyballer a bit more credit than she currently deserves. Still, there's no way these two won't be around in the Final Four.

-Brooke Burke and Derek Hough
I was sure Brooke would perform like the other models on this show -- ie, stiffly and without personality. What a revelation she's been, executing both dances with style and passion. Keep an eye on these two.

-Cody Linley and Julianne Hough
Julianne can, of course, do no wrong, and Cody is adorable and clearly respectful of the competition. These two may just be a force to be reckoned with.

-Maurice Green and Cheryl Burke
While this couple has been solid thus far, and Cheryl's choreography is always entertaining, they are performing exactly as I would have expected a track and field star to perform. Will the lack of surprise do them in?

-Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani
Susan -- eat a sandwich! I can't pay attention to your dancing because I'm too afraid you're going to break in half! And maybe lay of the plastic surgery a bit? Your face is lookin' a little rough.

-Ted McGinley and Inna Brayer
Ted is charming, and his dancing is not bad, but thus far he's a bit boring. He's going to have to show a bit more personality, and kiss up a little less, if he wants to go further in the competition.

-Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson
What a surprise this couple has turned out to be! Warren could not be more likable, and he flies around the dance floor in a way that seems completely antithetical to his size. I love 'em! (Though what did Kym do to her breasts??)

There they are -- my first impressions of the Dancing with the Stars Top 12. As I said above, I'm guessing either Kim Khardashian or Ted McGinley will get the boot tonight. Later this week I'll give my (very!) early thoughts on how I think the rest of the season will shake out.

Are Dancing with the Star's Cheryl Burke and Julianne Hough Snubbing SYTYCD's Lacey Schwimmer?

Drama in the reality TV dance world!

According to an item in today's New York Post Page Six, two-time Dancing with the Stars champions Cheryl Burke and Julianne Hough are snubbing former So You Think You Can Dance finalist and new Dancing with the Stars professional Lacey Schwimmer. Apparently the ladies are upset that Lacey was paired with Lance Bass, who is considered to be the most talented and highest profile star on the upcoming season.

While it's not hard to imagine Cheryl (who is paired with football star Maurice Greene) pulling a diva act, Julianne seems like a sweetheart, and she's got a burgeoning music career -- is she really that upset? Plus, she's got a young buck of her own -- Disney channel hearthrob Cody Linley.

I can't wait until this show premieres!

Full List of Dancing with the Stars Celebrities and Professionals: Maks is Back!

Here is the full list of the celebrities for the new season of Dancing with the Stars, along with their professional partners.

Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer
Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo
Brooke Burke & Derek Hough
Rocco Dispirto & Karinna Smirnoff
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke
Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas (Mark's father!)
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani
Misty May-Treanor & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Ted McGinley & Inna Brayer
Jeffrey Ross & Edyta Sliwinska
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson

SYTYCD's Lacey Schwimmer Will Partner Lance Bass on Dancing with the Stars

This is a reality TV show marriage made in heaven!

Season 3 So You Think Can Dance finalist Lacey Schwimmer will partner former boy bander Lance Bass on the upcoming season of Dancing with the Stars. Holla!

Lacey clearly has a fanbase from her SYTYCD stint -- will the combination of her and Lance's fans make them unbeatable? Guess we'll have to wait and see!

FULL LIST OF DANCING WITH THE STARS CELEBRITIES AND PROFESSIONAL PARTNERS

Dancing with the Stars Cast Officially Announced

ABC has officially announced the new cast of Dancing with the Stars -- and here they are!

Lance Bass (former boy-bander)
Toni Braxton (singer)
Susan Lucci (soap opera star)
Cloris Leachman (Emmy and Oscar winning actress)
Brooke Burke (TV personality)
Rocco DiSpirito (celebrity chef)
Maurice Greene (track and field star)
Kim Kardashian (TV personality)
Cody Linley (child actor)
Misty May-Treanor (beach volleyball player)
Ted McGinley (actor)
Jeffrey Ross (comedian)
Warren Sapp (football player)

Thoughts?

Counting Down to Dancing with the Stars

11 days until the announcement of the new Dancing with the Stars cast. I can hardly wait!

Idol, Dancing, Runway and Their Hosts Pick Up Emmy Nods

Reality TV was all over the Emmy Award nominations, with the big guns picking up most of the nominations.

American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, The Amazing Race, Project Runway and Top Chef were nominated for the big award -- Best Reality Competition series. The hosts from three of those shows were also recognized in the new "Best Host" category -- Ryan Seacrest, Tom Bergeron and Heidi Klum. They are joined by Survivor's Jeff Probst and Deal or No Deal's Howie Mandel.

Idol picked up five nominations in all, including Picture Editing, Sound Mixing and Technical Direction. Runway also grabbed five, while Dancing with the Stars got eight nods (mostly in technical categories). So You Think You Can Dance also picked up four nominations, including three in the choreography category -- read article here.

Dancing with the Stars Rumor Mill: Lance Bass and American Idol's Kellie Pickler May Be Kickin' Up Their Heels

Around this time of year, the internet rumors start flowing about the next season of Dancing with the Stars. At the moment, the two questions circulating through cyberland center around whether the show will feature (yet another) former boy-bander and a contestant from a competing reality show.

Several outlets have reported that Lance Bass will follow his former 'nsync bandmate Joey Fatone onto the dance floor. The gossip has ABC pondering whether or not to pair the openly gay Bass with a man or a woman. While it's an interesting question, as far as I'm concerned the only fair thing, despite his sexuality, would be to pair him with a woman. Otherwise, there would be no way to compare him to the other male/female couples on the show. I mean...would he be expected to lead or follow??

The other rumor making the rounds (this time courtesy of OK magazine), is that former American Idol contestant Kellie Pickler will be kickin' up her "red high heels." Pickler has actually established a bit of a name for herself in the field of country music, with a few hit singles and album sales exceeding 600K. Does she need the show? Well, she didn't need Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, and she didn't seem to mind making a fool of herself on that one! (Watch video here)

What do you think of these latest names? Will either make you tune in? Or tune out?

Video: Dancing with the Stars Karina Smirnoff Talks About Being Cheated on by Mario Lopez

It has not been a good month for Mario Lopez.

First, news hit the internet that he and A Chorus Line co-star Nick Adams have been feuding over costumes and who has the bigger biceps. According to Page Six, 2xist Underwear was thinking of using Lopez for their new campaign, but elected to go with Adams instead.

As if the great Underwear/Biceps Scandal of '08 wasn't enough, now former girlfriend and Dancing with the Stars partner Karinna Smirnoff is going public regarding Lopez' cheating ways. Apparently he was screwing around while they were living together! AC Slater, no!!

Watch what Karina had to say in the interview she gave to Chelsea Lately below.

Who's going to turn on him next? Mark Paul Gosselaar? Elizabeth Berkeley?

Watch the video and let me know what you think.

Ranking the Dancing with the Stars Women: Kristy Takes the Gold

Dancing with the Stars is ON!

The women brought the heat tonight, far outpacing their male counterparts. In fact, Priscilla Presley and especially Kristy Yamaguchi provided some of the most entertaining first-dances ever on this show. Kudos, ladies!

Here are my rankings of the women:

1. Kristy Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas
I mean!!! This dance literally took my breath away. I knew she was going to be good from the moment she was announced as a contestant on the show, but I had no idea she was going to be that good! If she doesn't win this thing, something will have seriously gone wrong with this show. I can't wait to see her perform again.

2. Priscilla Presley and Louis van Amstel
First of all, Priscilla takes the title from Lisa Rinna as Louis' 'partner with the most plastic surgey,' but I gotta say, she looks great. Well done, Doc! Also great was her dancing -- shockingly great, in fact. Precise, elegant, graceful -- she had it all. Funny thing, too, considering every time she appeared on camera prior to her dance she looked like she was going to hurl. She may provide a bit of competition for Ms. Kristy.

3. Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez
You had to figure Marlee Matlin knew she could dance before coming on this show, and she certainly knows how to move her body on the dance floor, but something about watching her rehearse made it really sink in to me -- this woman can't hear the music. The fact that she was able to perform so beautifully truly is remarkable -- expect the viewers to respond, and for Marlee to have a real shot at putting that tacky disco ball next to her Oscar.

4. Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough
Derek was right to say that pretty girls don't generally do well on this show (Kelly Monaco and Stacey Kiebler were two notable exceptions), but Shannon may buck that trend if she keeps up the energetic and surprisingly strong dancing she showed tonight. I was ready to hate her (American Pie as your biggest credit? Really?), but she won me over with her long legs and (relatively) sharp movement. Not too shabby.

5. Monica Seles and Jonathan Roberts
I'm a tennis boy, have been since I was 8 years old, and Monica Seles was a favorite of mine from when I was just a kid. In fact, I can remember exactly where I was when it was announced that she had been stabbed. So, basically, I love her and am rooting for her to continue in the competition. Having said that, it was borderline painful to watch her tonight -- not because she was so bad, but because she was so nervous! I'm used to seeing Monica, the grunting bulldog, not Monica, the timid girl in a ballgown! I actually found the softer moments in her performance to be quite lovely -- it was the moving around the floor she seemed to be having a problem with. Hopefully there are enough folks out there like me with a soft spot in their hearts for the Grand Slam champ, and she'll be around for at least a couple more weeks.

6. Marissa Jaret Winoker and Tony Dobolani
I fell in love with Marissa when I saw her perform a song from Hairspray prior to it's Broadway opening, and it'd be difficult not to admire her for going after this show even though she's not the traditional Dancing with the Stars body type. But tonight's performance was a hot mess! Not only did it not even remotely resemble the cha cha, it wasn't even halfway competent. I love her (even though her, um, enthusiasm can at times be a but much), but tonight was not good. It'll be interesting to see if the little big girl gets the audience support.

Read: Ranking the Dancing with the Stars Jason Tackles the Competition