Dancing with the Stars First Week Impressions: I Love Lance and Lacey!

The first two performance episodes of the new (and eagerly anticipated) season of Dancing with the Stars are now over and we've already lost one "celebrity" (see ya later Jeffrey Ross), which means it's just about time for me to give my impressions on the remaining dozen (one of whom will go home tonight).

Before I do that, however, I have to reiterate a theme that has recurred throughout the years I've been writing about this show..

I hate Samantha Harris!

Ok, I feel better now that I've gotten that out.

On to the contestants:

-Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer
Hands down my favorite couple of the season, though at this point it has very little to do with their dancing. I was a huge Lacey fan back on So You Think You Can Dance, where she came in 4th place, and Lance was both in 'nysnc and is the first openly gay contestant on the show. How can I not root for them? I'm a bit concerned for their longevity in the competition, however -- as much as I love Lacey, I'm not sure she's in tune with what the judges are looking for in these dances, and it could come back to bite them in the butt. Still -- for now, they've got my vote.

-Toni Braxton and Alec Mazo
Toni's sporting a crazy-eye thing that is buggin' me out a bit, but so far her moves have been pretty impressive. However -- does she have the stamina to keep up?

-Kim Khardashian and Mark Ballas
Aside from her, um, assets, I'm not quite sure what Kim is bringing to the dance floor -- except a hot partner! Unfortunately for Mark, however, I don't expect this couple to go much further than tonight.

-Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas
I know, I know, she's charming and hysterical -- but I'm just not enjoying her shake her geriatric groove thing. Call me ageist, but I hope she gets shown the door right quick.

-Misty May Treanor and Maksim Chmerkovsky
Maks compared Misty's legs to Stacey Kiebler, which I think is giving the volleyballer a bit more credit than she currently deserves. Still, there's no way these two won't be around in the Final Four.

-Brooke Burke and Derek Hough
I was sure Brooke would perform like the other models on this show -- ie, stiffly and without personality. What a revelation she's been, executing both dances with style and passion. Keep an eye on these two.

-Cody Linley and Julianne Hough
Julianne can, of course, do no wrong, and Cody is adorable and clearly respectful of the competition. These two may just be a force to be reckoned with.

-Maurice Green and Cheryl Burke
While this couple has been solid thus far, and Cheryl's choreography is always entertaining, they are performing exactly as I would have expected a track and field star to perform. Will the lack of surprise do them in?

-Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani
Susan -- eat a sandwich! I can't pay attention to your dancing because I'm too afraid you're going to break in half! And maybe lay of the plastic surgery a bit? Your face is lookin' a little rough.

-Ted McGinley and Inna Brayer
Ted is charming, and his dancing is not bad, but thus far he's a bit boring. He's going to have to show a bit more personality, and kiss up a little less, if he wants to go further in the competition.

-Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson
What a surprise this couple has turned out to be! Warren could not be more likable, and he flies around the dance floor in a way that seems completely antithetical to his size. I love 'em! (Though what did Kym do to her breasts??)

There they are -- my first impressions of the Dancing with the Stars Top 12. As I said above, I'm guessing either Kim Khardashian or Ted McGinley will get the boot tonight. Later this week I'll give my (very!) early thoughts on how I think the rest of the season will shake out.