Ranking the Dancing with the Stars Men: Jason Taylor Tackles the Competition

Dancing with the Stars -- here we go again!

What struck me about tonight's season opener (aside from the fact that I still hate Samantha Harris!) is that, at this point, the professional dancers are nearly as famous, if not more so, than their "celebrity" partners. The same folks are watching this show year in and year out, so there's no way that more viewers in the Dancing with the Stars universe don't know Cheryl Burke than Christian de la Fuente, or Julianne Hough than Adam Carolla. It should be interesting to see how that impacts the competition.

As for the competitors, I had to continually remind myself not to compare their performances to those given by last year's finalists -- growth throughout the season is part of what makes this show so much fun to watch. With that said, here are my rankings of the male competitors:

1. Jason Taylor and Edyta
Mmmmmmmm, Jason Taylor. He's gorgeous! And he can actually dance! Hopefully he'll get over this macho hangup he's got going on (if Emmitt Smith and Jerry Rice can do it, so can you, buddy), but I have no doubt this guy's got the goods to go far. In fact, without even seeing the women perform yet, I'd say he's a frontrunner to take home the title.

2. Mario and Karinna Smirnoff
I'm all for old geezers showing off their personality on this show, but when a young'in like Mario shows his stuff, I can't help but get excited. This boy's hot! Not only that, he seems like a sweet kid, and he seems dedicated to nailing the dance steps (and his partner!) The performance could have been a smidge sharper, and it took me a minute to get used to Karinna's new nose, but hopefully he'll avoid an early ouster like last year's spitfire Sabrina and go far in the competition.

3. Christian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke
I swooned when I saw this guy's photo, but not so much once he opened his mouth. Doesn't he know that humility is what wins over fans on Dancing with the Stars, not arrogance? (Think Helio or Apolo's adorably bashful, "Who me?" smiles). His dancing also didn't bowl me over -- in fact, it made me a little uncomfortbale. I'm sure he'll be around for awhile, but he's gonna have to step it up to win my vote.

4. Steve Guttenberg and Anna Trebunskaya
For some reason, there seems to be more excitement about Steve on this season of Dancing with the Stars than any other contestant. I mean, I love Three Men and a Baby as much as the next guy, but did anyone really think he was going to be able to pull off what this show requires? To his credit, he is goofily likable, but there was nothing about his dancing that was either impressive or showed any potential. Still, he was charming, and as such there's no way he's gonna find himself under the red light anytime soon.

5. Adam Carolla and Julianne Hough
Though not exactly graceful, Adam didn't embarrass himself! Shocker! He may have spent most of the dance stumbling around the floor, but he did so in such an endearingly committed fashion, I have to admit I was charmed by the performance. And Julianne -- god I love that girl! She's absolutely luminous, and reason enough to hope Adam is not the first one to go.

6. Penn Gillette and Kym Johnson
Penn's performance was the one I was dreading the most, but he surprised me with his enthusiasm and quick sense of humor. The dancing was, predictably, pretty awful, but his extreme likability may buy him a few weeks in the competition. Or, considering his competition, maybe not.

I'll be back tomorrow to critique the ladies...viva la Dancing!