Apolo Steals The Show: Dancing with the Stars Performances

>Every time I begin to get frustrated with some of the tedious ways American Idol is produced, Monday night rolls along and I am reminded that it could be so much worse. The production values on Dancing with the Stars are an embarrassment for any show, let alone one that rakes in as many viewers (and advertising dollars) as this one. From the "technical mishaps" (which occur every week when the camera is focused on someone and the name is off), terrible hosts (Bergeron is fine but that Samantha Harris gets on my last nerve) to the horrible band (that rendition of "Hips Don't Lie"? Really?), the way this show is produced is shameful.

Just had to get that off my chest.

On to the performances:

Ian and Cheryl
Oh Ian, don't you know that real men shimmy? I do love it when they fight on this show, I must say, and it was a little cute (just a little) that Ian was so concerned that they make up. The Broadway star (thanks Nick for the reference) shakes his hips pretty well, but the performance is kind of a mess.
My Grade: 7

Clyde and Elena
Clyde's video clip certainly didn't assuage Len's concern that Clyde isn't putting much effort into this competition. Fine, I understand honoring a prior commitment -- as far as I'm concerned, send Clyde to China for good. The guy's got no place in this competition.
My Grade: 4

Heather and Jonathan
I have a confession to make -- I kinda forgot that Heather only had one leg until about 1/2 way into her performance, that's how entertained I was. Crazy, right? That was a pretty darn good performance, slip and all. Color me impressed.
My Grade: 8

Joey and Kym
I hate Carrie Ann and Len. Joey is clearly a solid enough guy that he is not threatened to acknowledge that he and the openly gay Lance Bass are tight, and then, directly following a segment where Lance taught him how to be sexy and a dance where he lost his girl to Lance, they go and call him feminine? First of all, expect Rosie to call them homophobic on tomorrow's The View, and second of all, they are wrong. That dance was hot.
My Grade: 9

John and Edyta
Watching John dance is a little heartbreaking. He's certainly trying hard (much harder than Clyde, that's for sure), but he just isn't pulling it off. The judges clearly felt badly for their "schoolyard taunting" (good for John for calling them out on that) and overpraised him a bit. I wouldn't be surprised if he's the next to go.
My Grade: 5

Laila and Max
I kinda have a crush on Laila's husband. You gotta be a real man to be with a woman as though as Laila. The dance was solid but left me a little cold, save for that one move toward the end where she moved up the length of his body -- that was hot. Not as good as the judges said it was, but solid nonetheless.
My Grade: 8

Apolo and Julianne
Every week I like Apolo a little more and more. And is it just me, or does he keep getting cuter and cuter as well? His dancing is a bit sloppy, but he's so adorable and has such an infectious energy it is hard not to smile ear-to-ear while he's performing. And this, from an athlete! Not worthy of the not-so-elusive "three10's," but by far my favorite performance of the night.
My Grade: 9

Billy Ray and Karinna
I love Billy Ray's commitment to the show, and I love the line "this does seem like the kind of dance you would want to do in the dark". Genius. The dance however, was pretty embarrassing. It looked like he just spun around in a few circles! He was just standing there! Almost worse than Clyde, but so much more likable.
My Grade: 5

My favorite performance of the evening was definitely Apolo and Julliane, with Joey and Kym a close second. Billy Ray and Clyde tie for worst of the evening, but I'm guessing it is John who will become the first man voted off this year's show. Stay tuned for tomorrow's results show extravaganza, complete with a performance from Lisa Rinna of "Roxie" from the musical "Chicago." Should be a good time.