Ay Carumba: Dancing with the Stars Performances

It's Monday night, which can only mean one thing -- it's time for some cheese-tastic Dancing with the Stars. Here we go...

Joey and Kym
Do I detect a bit of homophobia in all of this talk about Joey Fatone and "masculinity"? A little ironic, don't you think, considering Dancing with the Stars is hands down the campiest show on television. As for the dancing, I thought Joey was great -- entertaining, sharp, even a bit sexy (who ever thought I'd be saying that about the Fat-one, who, come to think of it, should perhaps now be referred to as Not-So-Fat-One).
My Score: 9

Heather and Jonathan
I gotta say, seeing Heather fall last week only made me like her more. And how 'bout that, um, cleavage this week? Where did those come from? I can't say I loved the performance (it was a bit sloppy), but I do have respect for the lady.
My Score: 7

John and Edyta
First off, Edyta's body is sick. I have to agree with Carrie Ann -- it was cute. Not good, per se, but, yes, it was cute. Having said that, I'm ready for him to go -- he just doesn't have the chops to keep up with the likes of Joey, Ian, and Apolo, and he's not as charming as George Hamilton or even Jerry Springer. It is, however, good to see that Norm came out to support Cliff Clavin.
My Grade: 6

Laila and Max
I love that Laila has brought her competitive spirit to this competition, and that she shows that desire to win while still maintaining a sense of joy while she is dancing. I loved seeing that funky breakdown at the end, and I'm glad that Laila is so committed that she wants to make sure her own flavor is represented in the final product. I'm liking Laila more and more every week.
My Grade: 9

Billy Ray and Karina
There is no denying that Billy Ray is adorable, but that certainly didn't look like and jive that I have ever seen. It looked more like a kind kinda stumbling all over the stage. Will his charm save him another week? I'm guessing yes.
My Grade: 6

Apolo and Julianne
Every week I fall a little deeper in lust with Apolo. The boy is hot! And he certainly knows how to move his hips! I was a little creeped out by all the brother/sister/lady's bedroom talk, but I'm willing to overlook that because I enjoyed the performance so much. And Julianne is providing some serious competition for Cheryl Burke in terms of who my favorite professional is. Another winner from Apolo.
My Grade: 9

Ian and Cheryl
Ian does something that Joey, Apolo and even Billy Ray don't do -- he takes himself too seriously. If he would just relax and have a little bit of fun, his performances would improve tremendously. As is, he's solid, but he's didn't exactly blow my mind. Eh.
My Grade: 7

The Swing
Wow. That was a big hot mess. A fun hot mess, but a hot mess nonetheless. Props to Joey and Kym, who had the best lift by far, and Laila and Apolo, which literally made me laugh out loud. I can't say any of them came off as skilled dancers, but it was pretty entertaining to watch.


The Latin dances are definitely my favorite, and the celebrities didn't disappoint tonight, with Joey, Laila, and especially Apolo the highlights . While Billy Ray probably gave the weakest performance of the evening, and Ian could possibly get sent home, I'm guessing it's John Ratzenberger who will get the boot. Guess we'll see...