Big Brother Episode 1: Back in the House

Big Brother is back! Better than ever? Well, that remains to be seen.

First off, Julie Chen -- where did you go? You are about 70% of the size you were the last time we saw you. I know your hubby Les Moonves makes some good cash -- can you get him to buy you a sandwich?

As for the contestants, is it just me, or do they seem even more hard-bodied and vapid than ever? I suppose this happens every year, but overall this seems like a pretty vacant bunch. I actually got excited when Kail showed up, if only to have a woman of some substance around, but she had to go and ruin that straight off with her "I would be devastated if my children where gay" speech. Sorry, Kail, I'm over you, despite the fact that you are a "multi-business owner." Amber and Jamiqua seem like they could be more than just pretty faces, but I think Jen, and her never-ending list of "occupations," probably takes the cake (in the first episode, at least) for just plain silliest. Janelle, I miss you!

And then there's Joe. Oh, Joe. Let's see, what do we know about Joe so far? That he's bitter, manipulative, destructive, and, oh yeah, that he had "the clap." Big Brother, where do you find these people?

I'm not sure how I feel about this "sleeping with the enemy" twist so far, but I can tell you that a $5 rivalry from 7th grade doesn't seem very fruitful for drama. An estranged father/daughter duo, however -- that could be interesting. And as for "American's Player"? Eric seems so insecure and dodgy I can't seem him lasting very long. But perhaps the directions America gives him will allow him to stay in the game.

Bottom line -- I'm hooked already. Sunday can't come soon enough!

Click for more on Big Brother 8