Helio Castroneves Races to Victory on Dancing with the Stars

Well, the fat lady has sung -- and Helio Castroneves is the champion of Season 5 of Dancing with the Stars.

Helio is the third straight athlete to take home the title (following in the footsteps of Emmitt Smith and Apolo Anton Ono), and the fourth consecutive male contestant to waltz to victory (Kelly Monaco, Season 1's victor, remains the only female champion). In addition, Julianne Hough joins Cheryl Burke as the only professional to win back-to-back titles.

Now that I've got all that outta the way, I have to admit...I was disappointed in the outcome.

Don't get me wrong -- Helio is charming as all get-out, and he definitely proved himself to be a true competitor and quite a dancer. I even said to my lovely companion while watching the show that I would be happy with any outcome. But when the winner was revealed, I instinctively groaned -- not because I don't love Helio (how can you not??), but because Mel B, to me, was just perfection -- fierceness and sensuality all wrapped up in one womanly, extremely likable package.

Hey, at least Marie Osmond didn't win!

As for the rest of the show, props to Celine for whipping out that old chestnut "My Heart Will Go On," and for looking fierce while crooning her new single, "Taking Chances." I could have done without revisiting the show's past contestants so thoroughly -- with the exception of the amazing Sabrina Bryan, the lovable Jennie Garth (who looked like she was having the best time dancing) and maybe studly Cameron Mathison, seeing the other "celebs" trot out their old dances did absolutely nothing for me.

So, another season has bitten the dust, with another champ hoisting a meaningless mirror trophy ball above their head. Gotta love reality TV.

I say...bring on Dance Wars!