Dance War Is Officially the Campiest and Least Sensical Show on Television

I've been watching Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann since the premiere episode, and I'm now ready to say...

This is the campiest and least sensical show on television!

Don't get me wrong -- I initially fell for the concept that seemed to merge the best of American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance. I'm a Broadway freak, so getting to watch cute kids singing and dancing seemed nothing but a treat. And there have been moments of semi-greatness on the show -- last night's second number choreographed by Carrie Ann came close to being one of them.

There have, however, also been a whole of lot of moments of "eh" on the show. Being able to both sing and dance spectacularly is something very few people in this world can do, which means by it's very nature this show is going to have an amateur feel to it.

It seems the producers have recognized this, and, as such, they have gone totally over the top to try and ramp up the entertainment value. Think about it -- Bruno and Carrie Ann's sniping at each other? Bruno collapsing to his knees after finding out his team has won? Carrie Ann crying through the last 10 minutes of the show as she had to cut a member from her team? The hysterics are overwhelming!

(And that's not even accounting for the performance by the High School Musical Tour cast!)

But the real problem with everyone (the judges, audience, Lachey, and contestants) taking this show so seriously is that we have no idea what the stakes are! I've heard talk about a "record contract" for the "winner," but is the "winner" one person? A group? How will this "winner" ultimately be decided? By Bruno and Carrie Ann? By the audience?

It's nearly impossible to keep a straight face when the contestants say "Dance War means everything to me. If this was all to end, my dreams would be shattered." Huh? First of all, the show's season finale is next week, so you best be preparing for your "dreams to be shattered." Second of all, how can it mean everything to you when you don't even know exactly what you are competing for?

Thus, the best way to watch this show, I've decided, is to simply not think about it. It is what it is. Let the high stakes come into play on Idol --this one's not about logic, it's about ridiculousness (with a bit of singing and dancing on the side). And truth be told -- there's worst things than that.

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I'm Already Obsessed With Dance War!

The producers of Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann were banking on one thing: So You Think You Can Dance + American Idol = can't lose. And guess what...

They had me at hello.

Combining singing and dancing, with a little bit of the Dancing with the Stars personality on the side, the show was a feast for the eyes and ears. Let's be totally honest -- I'm hooked already. I mean, the set looked like the stage from the movie Girls Just Wanna Have Fun! (If you are not familiar with that 80's gem, run, do not walk, to the video store to rent the Sarah Jessica Parker/Helen Hunt dancing classic).

And lo and behold, there actually appeared to be some talent on this show! Sure, most of these kids wouldn't make it to the Hollywood round of either SYTYCD or Idol, but somehow possessing both singing and dancing skills makes them interesting. And the production numbers at the end of the show, while vaguely show-choir-ish, were actually pretty entertaining!

The first 90 minutes of the show had it's slow points, but I've never been a fan of the open call audition round anyways (read my post 'Is it Wrong that I'm Dreading the American Idol Auditions?'). Yes, I wish they had showed a bit more footage from the Hollywood intensive round to give us a better idea of what each contestant brings to the table. The "candid" conversations between Bruno and Carrie Ann were so staged they were almost painful to watch. And sure, I have absolutely no idea what the goal of this show is, or what the winner receives.

But who cares?? There's singing and dancing, and cute boys! Oh my!

Speaking of cute boys, I've got my eye on Zack, the doctor-turned-dancer with the dreamy smile. I'm also watchin' out for the dancing gospel singer, and the hoofer who brought his whole family with him to auditions. We'll see how they do.

Bring. It. On.

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Drew Lachey to Host Dancing with the Stars Spin-Off

According to Variety, former Dancing with the Stars champ Drew Lachey will host a spin-off of the popular reality show this winter. The show, called Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann, will feature Dancing With the Stars judges Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba as they form rival performance groups. Team Bruno and Team Carrie will then face off week to week in various song and dance battles.

Apparently, ABC has picked up six episodes of the show, which will likely air this winter between versions of Dancing with the Stars.

Sound good or nightmarish? Either way, it'll help pass the time until So You Think You Can Dance comes back next summer!

The Ten Best Dancing with the Stars Teams of All Time

Another season of Dancing with the Stars has come to an end, which means it's time for...a best-of list!

Below is my list of the Ten Best Dancing with the Stars Pairs throughout the four seasons of the show. Of course, like any best-of list, this is subjective, and there is plenty of room for disagreement. For example, I've got last year's runner-up Mario Lopez finishing higher than last year's winner Emmitt Smith -- that's my opinion, and I'm stickin' to it!

Who do you think is the best pair of all time? Did I leave your favorite off the list? Leave a comment and let me know!

1. Drew Lachey and Cheryl Burke
2. Mario Lopez and Karinna Smirnoff
3. Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough
4. Joey Fatone and Kym Johnson
5. Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke
6. Stacey Kiebler and Tony Dobolani
7. Laila Ali and Maksim Chmerkovskiy
8. John O'Hurley and Charlotte Jorgensen
9. Kelly Monaco and Alec Mapa
10. Monique Coleman and Louis van Amstel

Honorable Mentions:
Jerry Rice and Anna Trebunskaya
Joey McIntyre and Ashley Delgrosso
Lisa Rinna and Louis van Amstel

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Later Leeza: Dancing with the Stars Results

Every time Tom & Samantha announced the "big surprise" that was in store for tonight's results show, I rolled my eyes. I mean, really? There's no way it was gonna live up to the billing the hosts were giving it.

But I gotta admit -- when Drew Lachey showed up on that stage a huge grin appeared on my face. Cheryl and Drew reunited, and it feels soooooo good. And man, that boy can dance! His footwork and style was head and shoulders better than anything the celebrities have put forth this season.

As for the elimination, it's not much of a surprise to see Leeza Gibbons get sent packin' tonight (I predicted she would be the one to go in my performance recap), but it is a shame that Clyde, who couldn't seem to care less about how he does, is still around while Leeza, who clearly put her all into the competition, gets the boot.

And I have to say, as much as I enjoyed some of the professional dancing and the montage about the professional's underappreciated role in the process, there is no reason this show needs to be an hour long. Two Big & Rich performances? The Jimmy Kimmel bits? Come on, ABC, this is really an abuse of power. And how about showing some time management skills -- every week the eliminated celebrity doesn't have a chance to say goodbye because they've run out of time.

But, despite my gripes, of course I'll be back next week for more Dancing torture. What can I say -- I, like 20 million others, must be a masochist!