Dancing with the Stars Top 6: Rankings and Elimination Prediction

The first time the contestants on Dancing with the Stars are required to do two dances is always a turning point in the competition -- this is where the separation occurs of the men from the boys (or, as it were, the ladies from the girls, which, to be honest, doesn't really have the same ring). Last night, the cream rose to the top, while a few contestants revealed their weaknesses.

Before I get to the rankings and elimination prediction, I have to say two things:

1. I hate Samantha Harris more than ever. Someone, please, fire her!

2. Were the cheetah paws really necessary? You are all supposedly "stars," not cornfed hicks from Alabama who got lucky on a reality show and are "bonding" with your new friends. Get it together! Cameron Mathison said "This is best thing I've ever done." Really, Cameron? That's a little sad.

Ok, on to the rankings...

1. Marie Osmond
I mean! That first dance was simply perfection, and was robbed of three 10's from the judges. She had the character, the moves, the attitude -- it put a smile on my face from start to finish. The cha cha was not quite the triumph of the quickstep, but it was spirited and sexy nonetheless. And all those kids? I mean!

2. Mel B
I think Mel B. should win this competition, as she most consistently delivers standout performances, but, as I did with Sabrina, I have reservations about the fairness of someone who dances for a living taking part in the competition. Still, she's so charmingly unpolished off the floor, and then so beautifully polished on it, that I can't help but cheer for her.

3. Jennie Garth
Kelly Taylor is supa-sexy! That rumba was hot, more than making up for a slightly tepid first dance. As I was watching her dance last night, I really started to hope that this show (and the fact that she is coming off so real and likable) jumpstarts her career. She's not been down and out -- What I Like About You ran for three years on the WB -- but I'd like to see her in a Grey's Anatomy type project.

4. Helio Castroneves
I love me some Helio, and the samba really hit it out of the park, but he's plateaued a bit for me. He needs to find some of the excitement he had earlier in the competition, but without forcing his admittedly charming smile. I think he can do it, and make it to the finals as a result.

5. Cameron Mathison
He's handsome, yes, but there's something a little desperate about the way Cameron is approaching this competition. Basically, he makes me nervous. He has vastly improved as a dancer, I must admit. But I'm getting a little sick of his overeager enthusiasm.

6. Jane Seymour
Elegant, shmelegant -- she's boring! It was a novelty for a while to see her pull off some of the Latin dances, but, classy as she is, she can't compete with the remaining dancers. And we get it -- you were besties with Johnny and June Cash. Their votes aren't gonna help you too much, Dr. Quinn -- maybe instead of saying "I did it for Johnny and June" you should have been saying "I did it for the audience, who kept me around another week even though I had staged a food poisoning incident to avoid having to be eliminated on live television." Just a thought.

Here's another thought...I think Jane Seymour will be eliminated tonight. If others, like myself, are just sick of the perfectionist who's faced drama after drama this season, expect Jane to have danced her last dance.

Dancing with the Stars Top 7: Rankings and Elimination Prediction

After missing last week's Dancing with the Stars due to a Tivo snafu, I was able to catch last night's show, and was mightily impressed. How is it that season after season this show makes me care about "celebrities" I couldn't have given two shits about only weeks earlier? Ah, the magic of reality television.

On to the rankings:

1. Mel B
This rumba was hot hot hot! Sexy, seductive, sensual -- throw any "s" word you want at it, and it sticks.

2. Helio Castroneves
Helio is back! This dance was en fuego, with the racecar driver showing off a smoothness in his moves that has been absent from his last few performances. And how about he and Julianne during the group number? Adorable!

3. Sabrina Bryan
She's become so technically proficient, and shows such professionalism, that it's actually become a bit of a snooze. I won't be shocked if she gets booted earlier than she should, based on the fact that she's lost a bit of the "wow" factor. Still, there's no denying she is a fantastic dancer.

4. Jennie Garth
Go Kelly Taylor! Watching Jennie discover her confidence is perhaps the most heartwarming part of this season's competition, and when she nails a dance like she did this week, it actually feels triumphant. She is definitely the Lisa Rinna of this year's show.

5. Cameron Mathison
This guy definitely gets the most-improved award of the season -- no longer do I get glimpses of Ian Ziering when he dances, and he's actually become kinda sexy. Kinda.

6. Marie Osmond
Were they trying to play off Marie's fainting spell last week by having her sprawled on the ground several times during the routine? If they were, it was a bit disturbing...and kinda amazing!

7. Jane Seymour
I admire Jane's pluck and determination, and for a middle-age woman she certainly can throw her legs up ("I can kick, and stretch!"), but the judges were right on target, the jive just didn't fit the elegant Dr. Quinn. Not a trainwreck, but easily the worst of the night.

So, who's gonna go? My money is on Jane Seymour -- after a Bottom 2 showing last week, and low judges scores this week, the former ballerina may be ronde-ing her way out of the ballroom. I think she may be joined by Cheetah Girl Sabrina in the Bottom 2 this week, which would be a wake-up call for the over-achiever. Guess we'll see...

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Who Will Be The Next Celeb To Go On Dancing with the Stars?

The first one was easy -- of course Josie Maran was going to be the first celebrity sent packin' on Dancing with the Stars. No one knows who she is, she's a woman, and she was terrible -- hasta la vista, pretty baby!

So, who's next? History shows that the female celebs have a harder task ahead of them (especially early in the competition), but the majority of the male hoofers can't hold a candle to their lady counterparts.

Last week's best performers (Sabrina, Mel B., and Helio) are all very likely to be safe, as are fan favorites Cameron Mathison, Wayne Newton, Floyd Mayweather and Jennie Garth. That leaves Marie Osmond, Jane Seymour, Mark Cuban and Albert Reed in the most danger of Tuesday's dreaded red light.

I think Dr. Quinn's drive is likely to sustain her for at least another week, and if Marie can be as adorable as she was last week again, she, too, should be safe. Which means the model and the billionaire could be in trouble.

Of course, everything will change once they hit the floor, but right now I'm predicting an Albert Reed ouster. Let's get these models out of here and really get down to business!

Who do you think will be the next celeb to go? Take the poll on the right and let me know!

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Dancing with the Stars Top 6 Women: Rankings and Recap

Dancing with the Stars is one of those shows that I don't know that I've missed until it comes back, at which point I'm reminded of how much cheesy fun it can be. It doesn't excite me the way, say, So You Think You Can Dance does, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have a smile plastered across my face during most of last night's proceedings.

The first thing that made me happy was that Samantha Harris wasn't there! I guess she popped out that baby of hers, meaning Drew Lachey will be filling in for the next few weeks. Drew's pretty stiff himself, but Samantha is queen of the annoying forced cheeriness, so I'm not sorry she's gonna have to sit out the first part of the season.

Of course, Ricky Minor and his not-very-attractive band were back, as was host Tom Bergeron and our three neighborhood judges. Let the fun begin!

As for the contestants, there are definitely some serious contenders among the women, including two who have toured the world as part of girl groups. Is that fair? Well, Joey Fatone's 'nsync experience propelled him to the Final 2 last year before he lost to an athlete, so I guess anything goes in the world of Dancing with the Stars!

Here's how I'd rank the Top 6 women who performed last night:

1. Sabrina Bryan
Holy mother of God, where did this girl come from? She was sassy, she was sharp, and she was electric -- I loved every single second of it. This girl is definitely one to watch.

2. Mel B
Sabrina may have had a little more pop in her steps, but Mel B nailed the cha cha cha with the ease of a professional. Can you believe this woman had a baby less than 6 months ago? She looks fierce!

3. Jane Seymour
Jane will be playing the Vivica Fox role this year -- very determined older woman. But color me shocked -- she was grace and elegance personified during her fox trot, and she actually looked relaxed and like she was having a good time. I'm not sure how she'll hold up on a Latin dance, but this was divine.

4. Jennie Garth
I have loved Jennie Garth since 90210, and it's nice to see her let her guard down and tackle the dancing. She had the handicap of having to perform first, but I thought she acquitted herself quite nicely (far better than Ian Ziering did in his first go-round last year), and I hope she's around for awhile.

5. Marie Osmond
It's a testament to how strong the women were last night that Osmond is so low on this list, because I found her joy at doing the fox trot totally infectious. She wasn't as sharp, or graceful, as Jane Seymour, and she scarily reminded me of SYTYCD's Mary Murphy, but all in all I quite enjoyed this performance.

6. Josie Moran
Ugh. This girl's annoying and I'm already over her. Poor Alec Mazo -- he won the show during the first season, and now there's a chance he could be the first eliminated two seasons running. Cheer up, Alec -- at least you married Edyta last month!

So there it is...I'll be back tomorrow, of course, with rankings for the guys, and then predictions of who will be the first celebrity eliminated.

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