Ian Ziering Waltzes Out: Dancing with the Stars Results

It was time for him to go.

Ian Ziering had a good run, he really did. And he had a great partner, who likely has a pretty sizable fanbase herself (I know my friend Nick is a fan club member). But in the end, he just doesn't have the chops of the remaining competitors. Even though at times it was almost painful to see how badly Ian was trying, he ultimately proved himself to be an endearing, if occasionally heartbreaking, character.

Ian's exit leaves us with undoubtedly the competition's three best teams -- Laila and Max, Apolo and Julianne, and Joey and Kym. If last night's electric performances are any indication, that trio should make for a very exciting finale.

I am refusing to comment on the other 50 minutes of filler the producers mandated we sit through to get to the results, except to say that I did find slightly interesting the comparison between the athletes and the entertainers. But only slightly.

Enrique Iglesias? I liked him better with the mole.

Click here to read more posts on Dancing with the Stars, including a recap of Monday night's show

Dancing with the Stars: Wow!

Wow! What a great evening of performances on Dancing with the Stars. It's funny how losing Billy Ray suddenly makes the rest of the competition look that much better.

A few observations on this evening's show:

-Apolo is almost too cute to handle, and his quickstep, for me, was the dance of the night. I was a little less fond of his cha cha (it seemed a bit sloppy to me), but, really, who cares, it was so damn sexy! So much so, I had to rewind it and watch it again!

-Joey really is an entertainer, and if he is not playing Billy Flynn in Chicago on Broadway by the end of 2007, I will be shocked. That Kym is a knockout, too. And can I just say that I love that he is in on the joke about being called Fat-One. Gotta love it.

-Laila has really turned out to be a pretty tremndous dancer. Like, Stacy Kiebler good. It'd be a shame if she got the boot before Ian, but this competition does seem to favor the men, so I wouldn't be surprised if it happened. She can definitely hold her own with the boys, though, that's for sure. And those curves!

-Ian really did come out of his shell during the jive tonight -- good for him. I still find him totally heartbreaking, however, and I kind of want him put out of his misery so we can see a Joey/Laila/Apolo face-off next week. But that crazy Cheryl Burke, she's got some magic going on with her, who knows what she's capable of.

So, there it is...I think Ian should go, but there's a chance Laila could be shown the door. Guess we'll see on a "jam-packed" (with crap) results show tomorrow evening.

Billy Ray Two Steps Out of the Competition: Dancing with the Stars Results

It was time for him to go, but it doesn't make it any less sad. Yes, Billy Ray Cyrus has (finally) been voted off of Dancing with the Stars.

He wasn't the best dancer on the show -- far from it. But he brought a charm, charisma, sens of humor, and a committment to his performances that far transcended technical skill. I'm gonna miss the guy.

And now we're stuck with another week of Ian Ziering, the stiffest dancer this side of...well, I don't have an end to that statement. He's just stiff.

If Ian gets the boot next week (as he should), we could actually end up wth the season's best three dancers in the finale. Apolo vs. Joey vs. Laila? Should be fun to watch.

Dance Like A Butterfly -- Dancing with the Stars Performances

Here we go again... Dancing with the Stars Top 5:

Ian and Cheryl
Ian is totally heartbreaking. He wants so badly to do well, but, ultimately, he just isn't that good. And, as long as I'm being totally honest, I think Cheryl Burke could have more chemistry with a chair than she has with Ian. I didn't actually think the fox trot was quite as bed as the judges did, but it certainly wasn't smooth and elegant. Their rumba was probably their best dance of the competition, but it still left me cold. I think we may have seen the last of Steve Sanders.

My Grades: 7 and 8

Joey and Kym
Joey is clearly a frontrunner in this competition, but I think he took a few steps back this evening. Joey minus razzle dazzle? Kinda boring. Their waltz was technically proficient, I suppose, but it was bo-o-o-ring. Their mambo shoud have been a return to form for Joey (and some of that choreography looked suspiciously 'nsync-esque), but it felt sloppy and rushed to me. Not Joey's best night.

My Grades: 8 and 8

Billy Ray and Karina
While it's totally adorable to see how badly Billy Ray wants to make Karina proud of him, I am so over watching him simply walk around the stage, pretending like he is dancing. I'm not sure I would agree with Bruno that the fox trot was "deliciously awful" -- I'd go with just plain awful. And the mambo? Embarrassing. I mean, Billy Ray looks like a fool out there (although that face-first dive through Karina's legs was pretty cool). America, please put this guy out of his (and our) misery!

My Grades: 5 and 6

Laila and Max
It's nice to see "the greatest" in the audience cheering on his daughter (and if that kiss she blew to her father during the waltz doesn't earn her a trip to the Top 4, nothing will). Laila looked absolutely gorgeous during her waltz, and it was elegant, although I can't say it was the most inspiring dancing I've seen her do. And while her jive was, as Carrie Ann said, clever and fun, she just didn't seem as light on her feet as someone doing the jive should. Poor Max, though -- getting scolded for his choreography! The guy is working his butt off, cut him some slack!

My Grades: 8 and 8

Apolo and Julianne
If I haven't made it clear in previous weeks, I'm gonna go ahead and spell it out for y'all -- Apolo is my favorite, and I have a huge crush on him (that beanie cap -- totally adorable). I love how seriously he and Julianne are taking the competition -- like the true athlete he is, he is pushing himself to be the very best he can possibly be. And their hard work paid off -- their tango was sharp, sexy, and super-energetic, and their Latin dance was passionate, dramatic, and extremely well danced. I loved nearly every moment of both dances.

My Grades: 9 and 10

Overall, Apolo and Julianne were far and away my favorites of the evening, followed, at a pretty significant distance, by Laila and Max and then Joey and Kym. The worst of the evening was, of course, Billy Ray and Karina, but I'm guessing Ian and Cheryl will get the boot, ending Cheryl's Dancing with the Stars winning streak. Guess we'll see...

Twice As Nice: Dancing with the Stars Performances

You have to give it up for the celebrities on Dancing with the Stars -- learning two new dances can not be easy (the folks over at American Idol don't even have to sing two songs until the Top 5 -- or in this year's case, the Top 4). I would have expected the quality to plummet considering the extra workload, but all in all they acquited themselves quite nicely. On to the performances...

Laila and Max
First off, love Laila's hair. Love it!

It just doesn't seem right that Laila is the only female left in the competition, although considering some of the ladies she was competing with (Leeza? Shandi?) I guess it's not really that surprising (although I do miss Heather a bit). But thank goodness Laila has stuck around, because she is really pretty dazzling to watch. Her quickstep is simply fantastic, and her samba is even better -- sexy, sultry, and sassy, simply a thrill to watch. Two knockouts for Laila.

My Grades: 9 and 10

John and Edyta
I guess if we have to be stuck with a guy who is around more for his personality than for his dance skills, we could do worse than John Ratzenberger (better than Clyde Drexler, at least). While I'm guessing this is his last week in the competition, his waltz really was quite charming, and his rumba was totally passable (even if it was a bit strange to see John and Edyta trying to be "sexy"). I never would have imagined Cliff Clavin would be half as good as John has proven to be.

My Grades: 8 and 6

Apolo and Julianne
Ya know, they do a really good job of matching the professional partners with the celebrities -- I can't imagine a better partner for Apolo than Julianne. I'm also constantly shocked by Apolo's ability to sell the performance -- I mean, lest we forget, he is an athlete, not a performer.

I don't know what Len was smoking tonight, but that fox trot was so entertaining and endearing, I had a smile from ear-to-ear the entire 90 seconds. While I enjoyed his Latin number, however, I thought it was a bit rushed and had a few too many tricks. Having said that, though, and at the risk of sounding redundant, Apolo is dreeeeeeeeeeeeamy.

My Grades: 9 and 8

Ian and Cheryl
Oh my god, Kelly Taylor, Donna Martin, and Brandon Walsh are here to cheer on Steve Sanders? I'm not gonna lie, I'm freaking out a little bit with excitement.

I feel a little badly for Ian -- he so desperately wants to do well, but he just doesn't have the musicality or the charm of Apolo or Joey. And compared to Cheryl's previous partners Drew and Emmitt, he's a bit of a disappointment (you can kind of tell Cheryl thinks so too). His tango was smily and energetic, but I can't say it was exactly good (certainly not worthy of the 9's the judges generously gave him). His Latin dance was a little better (and he seems to have embraced the shimmy, which he was resisting a few weeks ago), but I agree with Len -- I'm just not feelin' the chemistry. I'd be shocked if Cheryl finds herself a three-time winner of this competition.

My Grades: 8 and 8

Billy Ray and Karina
There's no denying Billy Ray is charming, and, to be honest, I'd rather Billy Ray stick around another week than John Ratzenberger. However, I think "showcasing" Karina is a bit of an understatement -- did Billy Ray even dance during the waltz? He made up for it in the Latin round, however, attacking the dance with a vigor and passion we have yet to see from Billy Ray. Sure, he's no Mario, but I'm kind of falling for the guy.

My Grades: 5 and 7

Joey and Kym
Ooh, Joey whipping out an Ian Ziering crack -- that wasn't very nice. All is forgiven after the fox trot, however, which has so much charisma they must have had to come and sweep up the extra charisma off of the dance floor after the dance. Is there a doubt in anyone's mind Joey is going to find himself back on Broadway by the end of the year? (Although I must say Ricky Miner and the band managed to make that Michael Jackson song nearly unrecognizable) The jive was even better and, if possible, more charming -- as Bruno said, a "smashing showcase of talent." Joey also looks like the pounds are flying off -- FatOne no more!

My Grades: 9 and 10

Overall, a shockingly good night of dancing, with Laila & Max and Joey & Kym tying for best of the evening in my book. While I actually gave Billy Ray lower scores than John Ratzenberger, I'm guessing it'll be John who gets the boot tomorrow night. Guess we'll see...

Ay Carumba: Dancing with the Stars Performances

It's Monday night, which can only mean one thing -- it's time for some cheese-tastic Dancing with the Stars. Here we go...

Joey and Kym
Do I detect a bit of homophobia in all of this talk about Joey Fatone and "masculinity"? A little ironic, don't you think, considering Dancing with the Stars is hands down the campiest show on television. As for the dancing, I thought Joey was great -- entertaining, sharp, even a bit sexy (who ever thought I'd be saying that about the Fat-one, who, come to think of it, should perhaps now be referred to as Not-So-Fat-One).
My Score: 9

Heather and Jonathan
I gotta say, seeing Heather fall last week only made me like her more. And how 'bout that, um, cleavage this week? Where did those come from? I can't say I loved the performance (it was a bit sloppy), but I do have respect for the lady.
My Score: 7

John and Edyta
First off, Edyta's body is sick. I have to agree with Carrie Ann -- it was cute. Not good, per se, but, yes, it was cute. Having said that, I'm ready for him to go -- he just doesn't have the chops to keep up with the likes of Joey, Ian, and Apolo, and he's not as charming as George Hamilton or even Jerry Springer. It is, however, good to see that Norm came out to support Cliff Clavin.
My Grade: 6

Laila and Max
I love that Laila has brought her competitive spirit to this competition, and that she shows that desire to win while still maintaining a sense of joy while she is dancing. I loved seeing that funky breakdown at the end, and I'm glad that Laila is so committed that she wants to make sure her own flavor is represented in the final product. I'm liking Laila more and more every week.
My Grade: 9

Billy Ray and Karina
There is no denying that Billy Ray is adorable, but that certainly didn't look like and jive that I have ever seen. It looked more like a kind kinda stumbling all over the stage. Will his charm save him another week? I'm guessing yes.
My Grade: 6

Apolo and Julianne
Every week I fall a little deeper in lust with Apolo. The boy is hot! And he certainly knows how to move his hips! I was a little creeped out by all the brother/sister/lady's bedroom talk, but I'm willing to overlook that because I enjoyed the performance so much. And Julianne is providing some serious competition for Cheryl Burke in terms of who my favorite professional is. Another winner from Apolo.
My Grade: 9

Ian and Cheryl
Ian does something that Joey, Apolo and even Billy Ray don't do -- he takes himself too seriously. If he would just relax and have a little bit of fun, his performances would improve tremendously. As is, he's solid, but he's didn't exactly blow my mind. Eh.
My Grade: 7

The Swing
Wow. That was a big hot mess. A fun hot mess, but a hot mess nonetheless. Props to Joey and Kym, who had the best lift by far, and Laila and Apolo, which literally made me laugh out loud. I can't say any of them came off as skilled dancers, but it was pretty entertaining to watch.


The Latin dances are definitely my favorite, and the celebrities didn't disappoint tonight, with Joey, Laila, and especially Apolo the highlights . While Billy Ray probably gave the weakest performance of the evening, and Ian could possibly get sent home, I'm guessing it's John Ratzenberger who will get the boot. Guess we'll see...

Stumblin' Around: Dancing WIth the Stars Performance Recap

Appearing on Dancing with the Stars has got to be a little mortifying for the "celebrities" -- they are performing in front of millions of people, doing something they are not trained at, and then on top of that, they are subjected to scathing criticism from the judges and soul-killing eliminations. Having said that, it was so much fun to watch their faces as Len chastised them for only training 13 hours a week, instead of the 19 hours last year's crew was averaging. A sheepish Ian Ziering and Joey Fatone makes me happy, what can I say?

On to the performances...

Laila and Max
I like Laila a lot -- this performance, not so much. When I think of the paso doble (and, truth be told, I don't think of it often, except when I'm watching this show...or So You Think You Can Dance) I think of Cheryl and Drew sensational "Thriller" from Season 2, or Mario and Karina's thrilling performance from last year. This paso was just, well, passable -- Laila can do better.
My Grade: 7

Apolo and Julianne
I'm not gonna lie, I totally have a crush on Apolo. He's adorable! And this waltz was impressive -- sophisticated, romantic, and even a bit fiery (for a waltz, at least). It wasn't the most elegant waltz I've ever seen on the show, but it was solid and very entertaining. I'd definitely like to see more of Apolo -- in more ways than one!
My Grade: 9

Leeza and Tony
If Apolo is this year's B-grade Mario Lopez, Leeza is this year's B-grade Lisa Rinna. Props for that body -- girl is lookin' good -- but like Lisa, while Leeza certainly tries hard, unfortunately for her her dancing looks more awkward than accomplished. After a Bottom 2 showing last week, and very low scores from the judges, Leeza is definitely in danger of elimination.
My Grade: 6

Ian and Cheryl
I really wish they would clarify how Ian earned the title of "Broadway star" -- can someone fill me in as to what show he's been in? Was there a "90210: The Musical" that I don't know about? As for the dance (to a song I had never heard before sung horribly by the band), it was solid, but I can't say I found it tremendously inspiring. Cheryl Burke, however, is always inspiring -- the girl is a star.
My Grade: 7

John and Edyta
It's a bit disorienting to see Cliff Clavin being so humorless -- he's shown glimpses of real personality this season, but tonight was pretty much a disaster. Edyta, however, was gorgeous, and showed Leeza and Laila what a female dancing the paso doble is supposed to look like. John's adorable mother will probably earn him a few votes, but truth be told, I wouldn't be sad to see him go.
My Grade: 5

Clyde and Elena
Unfortunately for Clyde, Jerry Rice and especially Emmitt Smith set the bar very high for athletes-turned-dancers. Unlike those two, not only does Clyde not having an innate sene of rythym, he also doesn't seem very into the whole competition (much to the chagrin of his partner). He didn't embarrass himself, per se, but there is just not much joy in his performance. Get this guy outta here.
My Grade: 5

Billy Ray and Karina
Ay, Karina, with the drama. Everyone on this show needs to chill out a bit -- it's Dancing with the Stars, people, not the quest for the cure for cancer. It's not hard to like Billy Ray -- he certainly is trying hard. Unfortunately, effort (or a smokin' hot partner) does not a dancer make. Stumbling all over the place, this was less a paso doble then a big, fat, sloppy mess. A charming mess, though, nonetheless.
My Grade: 6

Heather and Jonathan
Coming in to this season, I thought I couldn't care less about Heather Mills. As far as I was concerned, she was on the show simply for tabloid fodder's sake, and I had no interest in that. But I gotta say, she is amazing! I thought this was the best waltz of the night, one leg or not. Her extension was fantastic, and those spins were beautiful. And the judges are right -- her partner creates beautiful choreography and is a perfect match for her. Nice work, Heather!
My Grade: 8

Joey and Kim
Wow, it really makes me feel old that Joey Fatone has a 7-year old daughter. Wow. And Lance Bass in the audience, meaning 2/5 of 'nsync is in da house. What, Justin Timberlake was too busy to attend? I was a bit less enthused by the performance than the judges were (a 10, Carrie Ann? Really?), but there is no denying that Joey has a stronger fundamental sense of rythym and movement than any of his competitors. Due to his experience, however, I expected more.
My Grade: 8

Overall I'd say this was a pretty unexciting evening of dancing, with nary a thrilling performance in the bunch. I'd give my "best in show" honors to Apolo, with Joey a close second. As for who's gonna go, I wouldn't be surprised to see Clyde or John get the boot, but I'm predicting we've seen the last of Leeza Gibbons. Think she can convince Mary Hart to do to show next season?

Dancing with the Stars 3/26 - Where are the Cheeseballs?

Yep, it's time to check back in at Dancing with the Stars, where week 2 proved that the base level of talent is higher this year than it has been in any of the past seasons. There hasn't been a Mario or Drew Lachey level performance yet, but there is still plenty of time for Joey, Ian, Laila, or Apolo to really break out. Even Billy Ray Cyrus, definitively the weakest dancer of the bunch, could easily outperform last year's first eliminee Tucker Carlson, or even top 5 finisher Jerry Springer.

I hate Samantha Harris. She is so wooden and fake. Just had to put that out there.

Here's some thoughts on the performers:

-Wow, Apolo Anton Ono really is the surprise of the season, and a very aesthetically pleasing surprise at that! That quickstep was impressive!

-I literally could not care less about Shandi-Barbie-Beauty Queen and her smily partner. Get them out of here. Sometimes the unknown contestants end up being very entertaining, like Stacy Kiebler, who is the audience tonight. I just can't see that happening with Shandi.

-Unfortunately for Clyde Drexler, he is following in the footsteps of fellow athlete Emmett Smith, who was charming, lovable, and had a natural dancing talent. Clyde seems like a great guy, but he doesn't quite have Emmett's glow, nor his finesse around the dance floor. He certainly didn't embarrass himself, but I can't imagine he'll be following Smith and Jerry Rice into the finals.

-Happy birthday, Leeza Gibbons. Buy yourself a new set of cheekbones, didja? Good for you, you treat yourself on your birthday. Her performance is so watching-your-mom-shake-her-butt creepy that I almost have to avert my eyes. She totally got those 7's because she's turning 60. I mean, 50.

-First of all, when was Ian Ziering on Broadway? Just curious. I think at this point Cheryl Burke is as famous if not more so than Ian Ziering. There was a cover story on her today in the USA Today! As it turns out, I quite enjoyed their performance -- the choreography was great (as always), and it had a real spark to it. Good job Steve Sanders!

-Who knew Paulina Porizkova was so funny? I mean, she made me laugh out loud! It was stiff and a bit awkward, but I like her much more than Leeza Gibbons, so I hope she hangs around a little while.

-Billy Ray Cyrus is totally milking the fact that his daughter is the biggest thing in the tween set since High School Musical, but ya know what -- he's charming and his performance ain't half bad. Don't get me wrong, he's no Mario Lopez (and don't think Karina isn't thinking that as well), but he doesn't suck. Go Billy Ray.

-She's only got one leg, and she was good! Shockingly, Heather Mills was the second best female of the night. Is it possible she could transcend freak-show status in this competition and actually become a real contender? Should be fun to see.

-John Ratzenberger would love to inherit the John O'Hurley/George Hamilton spot, and he could possibly do it -- he's even got George's old partner, Edyta. He's pretty charming, and he's actually a stronger dancer than several of his competitors. Not bad, Cliff Clavin.

-Laila Ali has the deepest female voice I have ever heard. But once again, she is alllll woman on the dance floor -- and she is phenomenal! This was easily the best performance of the night, and I would say at this point Laila is the one to beat.

-I still think it's unfair Joey Fatone is in this competition, but what do ya know, I'm charmed by him once again. Sure he's a bit cheesy, but the joy he seems to be having is totally infectious, and he can really move. Plus, his Broadway experience seems to be really paying off, as he is selling what he's dancing. Nice work, Fat-One.


So there it is, my thoughts on Week 2 of Dancing with the Stars. I'm guessing Leeza's birthday will spare her another week, while Ken and Barbie are going to get sent back to the dollhouse. See ya later Shandi? We'll see tomorrow night...